And it begins....#PDL

Purpose Driven Life.  #PDL.  #RickWarren  #whatisyourpurpose

We are beginning a new study in church.  It is the resurgance of the Purpose Driven Life.  I'm reminded that it is NOT about me.  It is about God and the relationship that he wants with me.  He created me for a specific reason at a specific time.  Over the next 40 days I'll be exploring what that means.   I know that I can choose many things about my life, but in order to live in complete obedience to His word, I have to discover my purpose -- my SOLE reason for being -- and live according to that to experience the desires of my heart.

What is this going to look like?  Can a person's purpose change over time?  I think not.  I think that I may have made decisions in my past that have lead me away from the reason that He created me, and I have tried to find pleasure in the world.  I want to live on the path that He wants for me.  I want to live the life that he made me for.  Psalm 139 tells me that God knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I like that image.  I like to crochet.  When I start a crochet project, I choose exactly the right yarn or "materials" for my project. As I crochet (especially a prayer shawl) I pray as I carefully ensure that each stitch is consistent with the one before it.  If I make a mistake, I go back and correct it. When my creation is complete, I usually smile and say "this is good".  I like the thought of God so carefully knitting me together.

As I sit here through this study and ponder my purpose, I will ask God:

23 "Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting"

As I discover my purpose in this life, it may not be anything that I ever imagined.  Or, it may be simply that I need to continue to step in the direction that I am on.  In any case, if any anxiety or fear crops up, I want God to continue to lead me in the way everlasting.

Peace.

Im not happy

I have to get this out. maybe its not politically correct or it makes me NOT a proverbs 31 wife.  but im  mad. i dont even have time for punctuation and correct capitalization.  i have experienced the straw that broke the camels back. i accidentaly spilled a drink.  it WAS sitting right beside my monitor, where i have askedhim NOT to put his ztuff. but it made its way onto the floor and not a word has beeen  spoken since.

ive got to get out of here. im drowning and i dont know who i am... i just want to be ME.

#saywhat

What are you supposed to do when you feel deep down in your heart that God is asking you for something that goes against everything you have going on right now?   Not that I'm being called to do anything "bad" or anything like that, but what if, I have a family at home, and God is saying GO.

I hear it so loudly.  I feel it so far down deep in my soul.  GO.  Just GO.

I can't, God.  I have a husband and two teenage boys.  I can't GO.  But I feel that there is something you are calling me for that I can't fathom right now.

I know what it is...that is why you have to GO.  Get away from those things that keep you distracted from me.  Put aside those things that are comfortable and normal and GO.  Put your trust in me.  Understand that I will take care of everything you leave behind.  Be obedient to me NOW and you will see my plan LATER.

God, that just doesn't make sense to me.  I have a job.  I have responsibilities.  I can't just leave.

Remember my disciples?  They left their nets.  They left their families.  The left all that they knew to follow me.  You know the rest of that story....

But that was 2000 years ago?  That doesn't apply to me. Where do you want me to GO?  Should I get in the car and drive....Jesus take the wheel?

Its not about the destination....it is about the obedience.  Trust me and you will know...

That is what I am struggling with right now....

My first Blog...

OK.  I set up this blog because I thought that I would have something to say.  Well, its been probably a year, and I haven't populated anything in this space. I'm taking a creative writing class, and one thing I'm learning is that there is always something to write about.....

I'm going to use this space for some of my ramblings.  Maybe over time and on occasion, something meaningful will come out of my brain.  Don't hold your breath, though.  I tend to ramble in my writing.

Those of you that know me...you know that I usually don't have too much to say (which is probably why I haven't written anything in a while).  The truth is...I have lots to say, but I just don't feel like anyone really wants to hear it.  Using a blog, I can rely on 'selective hearing'...you can 'hear' what I have to say, or you can ignore what I have to say.....but I won't know so my feelings won't be hurt.  Yes, believe it or not, my feelings get hurt.

Ok..I have to stop talking about myself for now.  Hopefully I can use this space to share my kind-of quirky observations about the things I see an hear throughout my day.  Yes, I could use facebook, but then I get so caught up in everyone else that I forget what I want to talk about.

thats it for now.
Have a nice day.

Chris.